Highly Inappropriate Tales for Young People Read online

  MR. FRASER GRUNTED AND got up. He walked the aisles, collecting everyone’s essays, then returned to his desk, where he began reading the essays as though they together comprised a menu. He lingered over them, rubbing his chin, as though trying to choose between items in a restaurant.

  Finally, he held up Kyle’s essay about Pablo. He gave a hoot of approval and everyone cheered.

  “Yayyyyyyyyyy!”

  Mr. Fraser then went to the door, removed the desk and ushered them all out, save Pablo. They asked if they could have slips to allow them to roam the halls between classes, but Mr. Fraser just snarled, so they didn’t push their luck or ask if they could get their phones back. He closed the door, and students in the hallway had one final glimpse of him, removing salt and pepper shakers from his shirt pocket.

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  Version 1.0

  Epub ISBN 9781446473245

  PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM HEINEMANN 2011

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  Copyright © Douglas Coupland 2011

  Illustrations © Graham Roumieu 2011

  Douglas Coupland and Graham Roumieu have asserted their right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the authors of this work.

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  First published in Canada in 2011 by Random House Canada, a division of Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto

  First published in Great Britain in 2011 by

  William Heinemann

  Random House, 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road

  London SW1V 2SA

  www.randomhouse.co.uk

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  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  ISBN 9780434021598